Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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