So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
