is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
