I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
