Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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