Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
