I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
