I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Say something about gay babies.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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