you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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