Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
