I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
