You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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