It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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