Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
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