I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
