that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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