Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
