why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize