Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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