3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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