I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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