Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
