i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
