dude i'm inner monologue high
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
