I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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