My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
