i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize