you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
