She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
