Non-Jews are for practice
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You may now shotgun with the bride
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
