I love black thongs
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And then he peed in my hair
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