Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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