Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I have post one night stand depression
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
