Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
