ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
