I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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