So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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