That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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