i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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