I puked a lego.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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