I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
