I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
