We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
How's work?
Spinning.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
His nipple licking is glorious
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