So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
