this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
