You're my little dorito
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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