i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
