I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
