Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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