u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
