I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
