Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
