how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
