No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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