I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
