i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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