Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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