four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
