6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
