real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize